Getting My Groove Back

My Husband and I went through a lot after I gave birth to our last child, the first 6 months were straight Hell. I was always so on edge I had the worst anxiety, depression, and always doubting our marriage. All self confidence was just out the window, I didn’t want him to touch me, I didn’t want to be near him at all really. I pushed him away so much I still kind of wonder why he stuck around, but that’s just the thing, no matter the way I treated him he was always there after a hard situation. He just got use to it, so he knew to not try to touch me anymore. He would steer clear of me, until one day I was begging for his attention wondering why he didn’t want to love on me or why we never had good conversation anymore. It was me, it felt like all my fault. I knew how I had been feeling but then it’s like I forgot and it was just the new normal. I finally got the courage to express how I was craving his love and attention so desperately. I thought we were having so many different problems when really I just needed to realize what I was doing to our marriage. We both thought there were other people in our lives with the way things were going, I was always questioning him and he was always questioning me. I finally realized I had treated him so poorly, he was unaware of how bad postpartum was treating me this time around. I never opened up, only shut down more. The way he would treat me back, had me so worried that he just didn’t love me anymore and we were both just giving up. Communication was obviously something we both were struggling with deeply. We both came to terms on what the actual problem was and things started to get better. It took 6 whole months of back and forth and not knowing when the other person was just going to call it quits and walk out the door. I feel like this is a very common thing to happen in relationships after having a child, your whole world changes and you do to! You’ll get your groove back, it may not be an easy road but if you have a strong love, you’ll over come anything.